


GLOW

by leehiro



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Can be seen as ship or platonically, Changbin tries to help, Felix is struggling with Korean, Felix sweetie i'm so sorry, Light Angst, M/M, Pre Debut - Glow, The situation is sad but they're cute, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 03:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14370174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leehiro/pseuds/leehiro
Summary: Hello! I've risen from the grave to bring you more light angst! I was looking for colour coded lyrics for GLOW (the OT9 version) but came across the pre-debut version with Binnie, Felix and Minho and now I can't get Felix's singing voice out of my head. Thank you for reading and enjoy!English is not my first language and while I did proofread this, you'll probably find some mistakes, which I apologize for!





	GLOW

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've risen from the grave to bring you more light angst! I was looking for colour coded lyrics for GLOW (the OT9 version) but came across the pre-debut version with Binnie, Felix and Minho and now I can't get Felix's singing voice out of my head. Thank you for reading and enjoy!  
> English is not my first language and while I did proofread this, you'll probably find some mistakes, which I apologize for!

Felix opens his mouth, lips silently taking shape of foreign words as he tries to follow the swiftly drawn characters on the piece of printing paper Minho gave him. It’s hard, he should be getting used to seeing the weird shapes and assembling them in his mind, but it’s 4 AM and he really needs to be at least familiarized with the words before their group recording tomorrow, he’s tired and stressed and the words just don’t come to him. He sits alone on their bathroom’s cold tiles, trying his best to not wake up any of the other members even though he knows most of them are out and inside several of JYP’s training rooms, but Changbin, Jisung and Chan, the designated team leaders and the pillars that will soon make up Stray Kids (hopefully with no eliminations on sight), have been sent to bed a few hours ago, in order to be able to lead their teams into a successful recording session.

It's not his fault, really. A few months isn’t nearly enough time to learn a whole new language, let alone understand lyrical sentences with eloquent grammar mistakes and weirdly applied vocabulary. He’s only known English for the past 17 years, and even though it’s his dream, even though this team is all he’s ever wanted, it doesn’t make it any easier. But he tries and tries again, whispering to himself in the bathroom, so concentrated that he doesn’t realize someone entered the room until a deep voice spoke.

“It’s easier if you try to sing it.” It’s Changbin, their team's leader. Felix cranes his neck to look at him, confusion written on his eyes and a slight blush on his cheeks, a mark of the embarrassment of being caught even though it’s a common occurrence for trainees. Changbin is perched at the door, dressed in a black hoodie and equally dark sweats, white socks on his feet and a serious look on his face. Had it been Chan, Felix would’ve been halfway to dreamland by now, their leader not wasting any time to coddle him and force him into bed. But Changbin, he understands. Not that Chan doesn’t, he understands Felix’s situation better than anyone else in their group, but his mother instincts always come first when it comes to the younger boys. Changbin doesn’t have those, he knows Felix is staying up late because he feels like he’s falling behind, and even though it’s Minho that’s at risk their boss could very well change his mind and eliminate him instead. And so Changbin doesn’t complain about the noise, doesn’t tell him to go to bed. He tells him how to improve, how to do better and how to move forward at 4 AM in the morning in their shared bathroom.

“S-sing?” Felix stutters, both from speaking in a foreign language and for having spent the past hours whispering to himself. Changbin just nods, his eyes boring into his in expectation. “You’ll have to sing tomorrow, might as well practice now.”

“I-, I-” Felix begins, but his team member leaves before he can pull himself together enough to manage a simple sentence. He comes back shortly, a glass of water in his hand.

“Here. Drink it and then sing.” The older says as he crouches next to Felix, who’s busy downing the glass. He looks at the Australian’s piece of paper, all the scribbles of pronunciation, English translations and even some doodles. The kid really worked hard, especially since both of them had to help Minho out with his parts while practising for their own.

“What if I wake the others up?” Changbin’s train of thought is cut short by Felix looking up at him, bare-faced with his freckles showing, eyes tired but still with a glint on them. He chuckles, startling the other.

“Did you really think they’d be sleeping with the recording tomorrow?” Felix just stares at him sadly, and to Changbin it feels kind of bittersweet, their lives. But now isn’t the time to dwell on it, so he clears his throat. “Come on, sing.” He hears the other gulp as he takes the paper from his hands. They touch, but Changbin ignores the electricity running through his fingertips in favour of giving his full attention to Felix, whose own hands are trembling, breathing erratic. He tries to sing, speak even, but words fail him.

Felix is shaking, his throat is closed up, eyes starting to water as he looks down. He can’t do this, not with Changbin’s piercing eyes focused on him. He wants to tell him that, but he can’t even speak. What is he going to do tomorrow? He’s not good enough, if he doesn’t do this he won't debut with Chan, Jisung, Hyunjin and the others. He won’t debut with Changbin. He’ll be left behind, alone-

“Hey.” A hand on his thigh and an arm around his shoulders startle him. He looks up to Changbin’s neck and buries his face in it without a second thought. “You’re okay.” He says, repeats it again and again until Felix stops shaking and his breathing evens out and his eyes are moist but tear-free. “Do you want to try again?” The blonde nods, removes himself from the other’s arms and takes another look at the paper.

It’s only the first two sentences, but singing isn’t his thing. He has always been praised for his deep voice that’s perfect to rap with, and he’s used to rapping a few lines in Korean too. Most of the short training he’s had at JYP has been focused on rapping, not singing. But they want Minho to rap too, and if that means he’ll stay with them then Felix is more than happy to sing a little more and rap a little less. And so he sings, sings more than he has to, sings his, Minho’s and Changbin’s own parts, because this song deserves more than its first two sentences, its meaning can’t be conveyed only through them, it’s not enough. Changbin doesn’t stop him, he listens to it all attentively.

He stops and opens his eyes, not knowing he’d closed them, and turns to his group member. Changbin is smiling slightly, eyes shining as he pulls Felix into a hug, to congratulate him or to try to hide his tears, he doesn’t really know which. “It’s perfect, Felix, you’re perfect.” He repeats it like a mantra, voice muffled in Felix’s t-shirt as he rocks them slightly. The Australian lets out a small, relieved laugh, and Changbin soon joins him, laughing quietly in the bathroom in the middle of the night, and it’s their own moment, before their fate is decided for them tomorrow and they have to face the consequences. This is their moment, and no one can take it from them.

“ _쉬어도 되지만 아직 일러_

_쉬어야 하지만 아직 멀어_

_우리가 가야 할 길_

_끝이 안 보여도 끝을 봐야 맞지_

_지도 하나 없이 위로 가는 길은_

_뒤도 돌아보지 싫은 미로_

_앞만 보고 달려_

_어둠 속을 환히 밝혀_ ”

( _We can rest but it’s still too early_

_We need to rest but it’s still so far away_

_The path we must go on_

_Even though we can’t see the end_

_We must go to the end_

_On this path without a map_

_It’s a maze, don’t want to look back_

_Only looking forward as we run_

_Shining through the darkness_ )


End file.
